[stars, but that's-- it's a lot. especially for someone whose home does not know this sort of violence, who has never experienced it, these scenes are stomach-turning; emet-selch looks a little ill, actually, by the time it ends, reeling with the force of how terrible it seems. at the gruesomeness of that vision.
he doesn't know what it's like, to struggle for control like that, but it feels awful. it's just as awful as the blood, the death-- moreso, even, because he knows what it is to reach desperately for what control you can find in a situation. in what you can hold on to while trying to reject what's happening.
and in the end... well.
he thinks that action says more about percy than anything else he may have learned, here, and he approves.
he's still nearly too staggered to speak, though, just-- quickly finding somewhere to sit.]
[ he stands there for a moment as emet-selch finds a place to sit and he hesitates, thinks about whether he should just sit right there on the floor or find a proper seat. he errs towards the latter, wobbling a bit and sitting down, his hands clasped tightly together. ]
A demon of vengeance. It... found me at my weakest hour, starving and alone, and it became my only friend for many years.
[ "friend" is spat out, like he loathes thinking about it now in this moment. he looks down at his left hand. ]
It fueled my rage, my vengeance, twisted everything I wanted to accomplish into nothing but death... So I took away what I could...
[ he closes his fist. ] The gun it had tethered itself to went into an acid bath, but the thing still left its mark on me regardless of how that act severed our bond.
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he doesn't know what it's like, to struggle for control like that, but it feels awful. it's just as awful as the blood, the death-- moreso, even, because he knows what it is to reach desperately for what control you can find in a situation. in what you can hold on to while trying to reject what's happening.
and in the end... well.
he thinks that action says more about percy than anything else he may have learned, here, and he approves.
he's still nearly too staggered to speak, though, just-- quickly finding somewhere to sit.]
...That-- what in the world was that thing?
no subject
A demon of vengeance. It... found me at my weakest hour, starving and alone, and it became my only friend for many years.
[ "friend" is spat out, like he loathes thinking about it now in this moment. he looks down at his left hand. ]
It fueled my rage, my vengeance, twisted everything I wanted to accomplish into nothing but death... So I took away what I could...
[ he closes his fist. ] The gun it had tethered itself to went into an acid bath, but the thing still left its mark on me regardless of how that act severed our bond.