[ for a long moment he sits there, shakes his head and rakes a hand through his hair, scratching some invisible itch. ]
Chang Geng knew. He looked me in the eye and he saw it. He saw what took hold of me. I... I wish... I wish... [ he's stuck, his voice caught. ] You were able to escape, Kazunari...
It stays with you... killing... it doesn't ever get better. I told Kumon that one day, the ache might subside, but... it never leaves. It's a scar on your very soul, Kazunari...
[ as kazunari touches his arm, he flinches, but... then relaxes. slowly. like the briefest touch grounds him back. ]
So you were the one he spoke to...? [ he huffs out a breath, not quiet a laugh but almost there. ] Then... thank you. For being there for him, and giving him someone to talk to when he needed it the most.
[ while the smile he gives percy is a little sad, it is genuine. moreso than anything he's shown to almost everyone, in the past week. ]
Isn't that proof that you aren't as much of a monster as you seem to think?
Hah... After the past few weeks, I think I know what you mean.
But I really don't think you're a bad person, Percy. You've been doing a lot to help the people here. And I think you've been pretty honest about how much you care about all of us, even when you have no real reason to... and it's easy to see how much love is your heart, too.
[ he smiles, and he seems to mean it, even with his white-knuckled hands, curling into painful fists as he tries to tamp every sensation flooding through him like lapping waves.
and then he fuckin mclived so......... /throws phone ]
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And... I know what it feels like, to have this place mess with your head. That's what happened to you, right?
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Chang Geng knew. He looked me in the eye and he saw it. He saw what took hold of me. I... I wish... I wish... [ he's stuck, his voice caught. ] You were able to escape, Kazunari...
[ he lifts up his head. eyes wet. ]
I'm relieved for that.
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[ he steps a little closer, hesitant, but still reaching out his hand to touch percy on the arm. ]
I was hoping that, out of everyone, you wouldn't be one of the people affected by this stuff. I'm sorry that you were, anyway.
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[ as kazunari touches his arm, he flinches, but... then relaxes. slowly. like the briefest touch grounds him back. ]
I'm sorry it found you as well...
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[ while the smile he gives percy is a little sad, it is genuine. moreso than anything he's shown to almost everyone, in the past week. ]
Isn't that proof that you aren't as much of a monster as you seem to think?
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[ he lowers his eyes. ]
I just find it difficult to believe... after so long.
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But I really don't think you're a bad person, Percy. You've been doing a lot to help the people here. And I think you've been pretty honest about how much you care about all of us, even when you have no real reason to... and it's easy to see how much love is your heart, too.
I'll miss seeing you around, and talking to you.
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[ he smiles, and he seems to mean it, even with his white-knuckled hands, curling into painful fists as he tries to tamp every sensation flooding through him like lapping waves.
and then he fuckin mclived so......... /throws phone ]