I know how you feel. The way this place messes with our heads... it the worst. It still freaks me out to remember the feeling. And I hate that Mimi and Roxi had to go through it, too.
[ kazunari isn't usually one to speak so bluntly when he feels bad about something, but there's really no getting around this. ]
...But that's why it's even worse that you're the only one they know about, isn't it? You're the only one shouldering those questions. [ bites his lip before continuing. ] So I wonder if it will help to tell them about Nines, now that we're not in the middle of a trial. At least then it won't be just you.
[ he holds on for a long moment. kazunari has such a pristine veneer sometimes, that to see him navigate this moment... he understands it. his hand reaches out and rests gently on his opposite shoulder. a quiet side hug. ]
I can be there when you tell them if you'd like.
[ he looks him in the eye. ]
I think it would be worth telling them, if anything... that sort of secret... it's a heavy burden to keep.
[ he leans into it, just the tiniest bit so he's not aggravating any injuries. ]
I'd appreciate it if you were, I think? A couple of people already know, but telling everyone... that's the part that scares me. And it feels like I don't even have the right to be, because I - I still killed Nines, you know?
But I don't want you to be shouldering everything on your own, either. It's not fair, and I was the first one to live after refracting, too.
[ he spent some time in the pods, so he's doing well there. he'll let him lean more. ]
It's a frightening experience, and I'll be there beside you to tell them it is. Killing someone... it's not easy. It never will be. And killing someone because of some otherworldly affliction like this refraction? [ he shakes his head ] You're allowed to be scared. I was scared as well...
Hard to imagine you being afraid, Percy. [ a little more humanizing, though. it gives kazunari a little more respect for him, just to admit that. ] Maybe at the next meeting they call, I'll step up...? And it'll help to know I'm not alone, so... Thank you.
Just once. I thought... he probably wouldn't want to hear from me that much. But I wanted him to know that I was sorry for what happened, even if he can't forgive me for it.
It just goes to show. [ we're all out of our depth here. he nods his head ]
If there's any time, I think it would be best done then. It allows everyone to settle back into... the pattern of things. Perhaps towards the end when we're discussing our miscellany...?
Yeah, that's a good idea. The last thing I want to do is distract everyone from other things when we still have to fix the prism somehow, you know? And we still haven't figured out how to do that, let alone actually started on it.
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[ kazunari isn't usually one to speak so bluntly when he feels bad about something, but there's really no getting around this. ]
...But that's why it's even worse that you're the only one they know about, isn't it? You're the only one shouldering those questions. [ bites his lip before continuing. ] So I wonder if it will help to tell them about Nines, now that we're not in the middle of a trial. At least then it won't be just you.
no subject
I can be there when you tell them if you'd like.
[ he looks him in the eye. ]
I think it would be worth telling them, if anything... that sort of secret... it's a heavy burden to keep.
no subject
I'd appreciate it if you were, I think? A couple of people already know, but telling everyone... that's the part that scares me. And it feels like I don't even have the right to be, because I - I still killed Nines, you know?
But I don't want you to be shouldering everything on your own, either. It's not fair, and I was the first one to live after refracting, too.
no subject
It's a frightening experience, and I'll be there beside you to tell them it is. Killing someone... it's not easy. It never will be. And killing someone because of some otherworldly affliction like this refraction? [ he shakes his head ] You're allowed to be scared. I was scared as well...
[ he looks to him, his gaze calm. ]
Have you written to Nines at all...?
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Just once. I thought... he probably wouldn't want to hear from me that much. But I wanted him to know that I was sorry for what happened, even if he can't forgive me for it.
no subject
If there's any time, I think it would be best done then. It allows everyone to settle back into... the pattern of things. Perhaps towards the end when we're discussing our miscellany...?
no subject