We both woke at the same time... and we decided that we would try to wait things out. That we would try to outrun it.
[ he curls his fingers into his palms tightly. ]
Tea... a game... each other's company...
[ he lowers his head, shoulders trembling, drawn tight. ]
I felt it in my head, planning. He was a mirror image of me, the same, we were the same inside, beholden to something other. I... of everyone here... besides Vax'ildan. Chang Geng... he understood me to my core... it was.
[ when he looks up, his brow is drawn tightly, his eyes red. ]
It felt like the only viable option. Like I was suddenly playing chess and Chang Geng... he was the King.
[from the look on her face, it seems like she's about to say something harsh, but - she pulls herself back from it. this wasn't his fault, she knows, even if she's feeling a little unfair at the moment.]
I won't put a burden on you if you don't want it but... he cares very much for you...
[ he shakes his head ]
See him whole. If he ends up with me tomorrow... I won't let him do anything that ends in his demise. I won't allow it. It'll only be me that leaves. I will do whatever it takes.
It chose me... but I must carry whatever it put on my shoulders. This... thing. [ he looks to her ] Treat the others the same. I know what this is like, I've known the feel of claws in your back, teeth in your neck telling you what to do, steering you where to go. This?
[ his voice is quiet: ] I will be okay... These are just old wounds.
[she nods, after a moment. normally she wouldn't press about something that's this clearly painful for him, but... she needs to know.]
Yes. You said it was like... something sinking its fangs into you? I know that was a turn of phrase, but - did it feel like there was another entity actually controlling you, or compelling you?
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We both woke at the same time... and we decided that we would try to wait things out. That we would try to outrun it.
[ he curls his fingers into his palms tightly. ]
Tea... a game... each other's company...
[ he lowers his head, shoulders trembling, drawn tight. ]
I felt it in my head, planning. He was a mirror image of me, the same, we were the same inside, beholden to something other. I... of everyone here... besides Vax'ildan. Chang Geng... he understood me to my core... it was.
[ when he looks up, his brow is drawn tightly, his eyes red. ]
It felt like the only viable option. Like I was suddenly playing chess and Chang Geng... he was the King.
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[she pauses for a moment, frowning.]
And as for... who you asked for, for tomorrow. Why him?
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[ hoarsely ]
We made a promise.
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He's the only one I trust to do so. [ his voice suddenly twists, sharp, crystalline. ] And if he doesn't.
I'll do it myself.
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Do you think you'll be given that option?
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I don't know, Vin.
I don't know if I'm to be given any choice. I tried to create another path, we tried.
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...We'll see what happens tomorrow, I guess.
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[ he looks downward. ]
I won't put a burden on you if you don't want it but... he cares very much for you...
[ he shakes his head ]
See him whole. If he ends up with me tomorrow... I won't let him do anything that ends in his demise. I won't allow it. It'll only be me that leaves. I will do whatever it takes.
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I would have done that even if you didn't ask.
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[ softly. a smile. soft. faint. far off. he squeezes his eyes shut, tightly like there's an ache in his head. ]
I'm sorry I couldn't be a better person.
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...You didn't choose this, either.
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It chose me... but I must carry whatever it put on my shoulders. This... thing. [ he looks to her ] Treat the others the same. I know what this is like, I've known the feel of claws in your back, teeth in your neck telling you what to do, steering you where to go. This?
[ his voice is quiet: ] I will be okay... These are just old wounds.
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[ he swallows ]
Ask, and I'll do my [ he curls his fingers tightly into his palm, a wave of something crests over him and he rides it quietly. ] --best.
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Yes. You said it was like... something sinking its fangs into you? I know that was a turn of phrase, but - did it feel like there was another entity actually controlling you, or compelling you?